Honestly, who wants to drive around with 100 kilos of gas in the back of the car, rattling around scuffing the Merc? Just because it’s the spare car doesn’t mean we shouldn’t look after it.
Elf Lives Matter
While Amazon is playing the fool working out how to deliver your new earphones with a drone, we are tackling real world problems. It’s gonna be a while before a drone can deliver your 100kg gas bottle and hook it up for you. And when it can, COSATU is probably going to have it’s own view on how cool that is or isn’t.
But fear not, we’ve got something better than drones, we’ve got delivery elves. They can carry heavy shit and you can tip em if you liked the service. What do you think the drone will even do with your five-bob tip?
You know how you meant to send yourself a reminder email after you switched over the bottle and then the dog ate the cat and you got distracted? Well now both bottles are empty and you’ve got no gas. What you do have is a levitating wife aggressively riding the broom like a skateboard scaring the bejesus out of you.
No worries mate. We do urgent deliveries, in fact we’ve perfected the art of deliveries. Non urgent deliveries are always 100% free and will take a maximum of 5 days, this is the option to choose if the dog didn’t eat the cat and you never got distracted. Urgent but can live with KFC tonight? We deliver next day for a small fee. Urgent and significant other is the throwing the broom into corners like a rabid-rossi? If you are in Centurion, Pretoria or Jozi we will deliver within 3 hours for a small fee plus another small fee on top of that small fee.
Hook a brother up man
So, gas cages are scary places where the flowers never grow and spiders spin their wicked webs. Not a place for your perfectly [french]manicured hands – George!
If you ask your delivery elf nicely, he/she (well it really because elf) will hook your bottle up for you and look strong an confident doing it. So you get your bottle connected and a free metal picture to perv over.
We strongly believe in keeping you safe because a dead you does nothing for our “lifetime customer value” metrics, and also because a dead you is bad press and also ‘cos a dead you brings inspectors with their dreaded questions. Also, a bottle that empties too quickly is going to ultimately end up as our problem to resolve. So you can see we’ve got skin in the game when it comes to keeping your installation safe and leaky-leak free.
Every time we deliver, our surprisingly good looking delivery elves will do a basic check of your installation, o-rings we replace for free, anything else that’s worrying and the delightfully-drop-dead-delivery-dude will let us know and we’ll let you know.